In busstop i saw a newly married couples seeing the childrens photos...suddenly my Mind(criminal Mind) thinking of words said by one of my friend(Newly Married Couple) that they also planning for children.
and the Plenty of Questions in mind arrised.
like.....
wat is the right time for children..?
what are the parameters need to consider..?
Dont they need atleast some gap..?
what are the plannings can be done..?
........so on...
and i started thing in bus stand ...suddenly Big sound hit my Hear.....i said "ho...the bus" and i get the bus and reach the office....and i start thinking y nott i do research on internet for this, which will help for newly married couples(Friends too) though it helps me in future.....
after doing some research i came to know that,It's a very, very tough choice to make, and even more so today when a couple has so many more things to manage and take into account when making this decision. It's one of the biggest and most important decisions of your life.
So apart from you being ready, your partner needs to be ready to. Here's what you and he need to consider before you take the decission.
Some of imformation got from internet.
you can Break it down into 4 parts - Money, Personal, Career, and Biology.
Money. Having a baby is expensive. Doctors, pre-natal care, the actual delivery, provisioning for any complications or emergencies, post-natal care… all this costs money, and a lot of it. And don't forget, if both of you work, you as the mother, will not be working for a long stretch. This impacts the family finances.
Do you have enough savings and emergency funds?
Is there an FD, SIP or ULIP maturing soon that you can liquidate?
think about heavy EMIs for personal loans, a car or your home?
Do you both have any dependents?
Do you have any major expenses coming up?
The question of money is especially critical in either early marriages (when both of you haven't had enough time to build up savings) or late ones (when parents are retired and are usually dependent on you).
And let's not even think of the "Congratulations! They're triplets!" scenario. Because one day, they'll all want you to pay their US college admission fees together.
Think OFF:They worry, but not so much. Making the money is a challenge, a game. Being able to provide the best that money can buy for their children gives guys a kick, one that they're used to and enjoy. What you have to think of is the planning - so the sooner you start discussing it and preparing for it, the better he'll be able to take it.
Personal: Babies are a full-time job. Once you're pregnant, forget any plans you may have had of travel, adventure, new experiences. Before the birth, it's medically risky, and after, there will be no time to even sleep properly, never mind anything else. So if you're in no hurry, think very hard if there was something you really, really wanted to do in life - travel somewhere, Doing any new cources, make a film, do that two-month yoga course in the Himalayas, climb a mountain… this is your chance. It's literally now u have to think.
At the same time, don't make this an excuse to delay the process. There are always things to do. The question is, how many of them are things that will leave your life incomplete, Stick to what's important, and give yourself a time limit.
Think OFF: A tough one to handle, because they do feel a little excluded from the process - and you, as the mother, will always be closer to the baby. A chance that they'll feel neglected, or restricted, or in some way deprived of all the fun they used to have is a distinct possibility. Add to that the guilt they feel about these emotions, and you have a major issue on your hands. Make sure you give him a chance to be involved, and have fun being involved.
Career: The Toughest one. You know you're going to have to take a break when the time comes but where are you today, and what are your plans? Are you heading up the corporate ladder, seeing some really big breaks coming up? Is your career poised on the edge of a take-off? Are you doing something you really love? And don't lie when you ask yourself these questions. It's a very valid thing to keep in mind - and a single income sometimes isn't enough. It puts a lot of pressure on the earner. It limits your options far too much, makes you pinch too many pennies and make too many sacrifices.
Also think about your partner's career. While he will keep working, is he stable? Is he likely to get fired anytime? Or transferred to some remote place?the kind of job is most travelling?
Deciding to have a baby is completely in your control. Careers often aren't. Do the two of you need to make some decisions about your working lives first.
Think OFF: Again, not seen as a very major issue; it's easy for guys to go into the role of 'provider' because society's been gearing them up for that all their lives. The maximum impact becoming a father has on a guy's career is maybe shorter hours at office, more time at home, and career relocation decisions that take schools into account.
Time: We've come a long way, medically; but you need to remember that the optimal time, the period when you're at your physical peak, able to handle any stress, physical demands, and recover fastest, is still between 18 and 32. And having a baby is physically challenging.
Secondly, the biological clock. Sure, you can have a baby at 45. Women have done it. But it won't be easy. It'll be very, very difficult. So if you're already into your thirties, you need to think about it really hard. All other considerations become second priority now.
Also think about how many babies you want to have. And how old you'll be when they're walking, playing outdoors, going to school, experimenting with life and illegal substances, getting into trouble. Are you going to be able to physically cope? (I dont know How Salman Khan will Manage)
Think OFF: Physical maturity is not an issue; emotional maturity is. And that isn't attached to any age.
The overall guy reaction: Almost equal parts of pride, worry, and jealousy.
Pride is fairly self-explanatory; chances are he'll be walking around with such a swollen head anyone would think he conceived, carried and delivered all by himself.
Worry is mostly around the sheer physical presence of the baby; they're terrified of being clumsy, doing something wrong, and generally screwing things up. It's very easy for this feeling to become too much to handle, since they already feel a little excluded; let him know that it's okay to not be perfect all the time. He still has a very important, critical role to play.
Jealousy is the hardest to handle, because they won't admit it and nobody expects it. But think for a minute. He was the most important thing in your life until now, and suddenly there's this new person, who not only won't let him do most of the stuff he likes but stops him sleeping, turns his life upside-down, and takes away his wife's attention completely for years. Jealousy's a natural first reaction, but fades away once he realises he's still important, more than ever before, but in a different way.
These are big things to think about, and you should take time out to think them through - take a stock of your life, your goals, your dreams, and things that affect it. Think through all this together and don't be distracted. Make a decision. Plan for it. And let it be the most wonderful experience of your life
"part of this article collected from internet views can be varried from person to person"
and pls dont Forget to Put comments...Thank You
